Life Force

I feel blessed that my little man took to nursing right away, I produce plenty of milk, and he is robust and healthy. For all of this and so much more, I am grateful.

He changes so much everyday, it is incredible. In the very beginning, he figured out the breast crawl pretty quickly, though not right away. We still practice it frequently. In case you do not know, babies right out of the womb, if placed on the mother’s naked belly, below the breast, will use their feet to push themselves up to the breast to nurse. Babies are most alert for the first hour after birth, so having this connected time immediately after birth, optimizes the opportunity of the mother and baby to have a successful nursing relationship.

It has been incredible to watch my Sun’s relationship to the breast crawl change over time. Initially, he would get himself so close and then bob his head around FRANTICALLY, grunting, with fury and vigor. I have to admit, it was hilarious, even though he was getting frustrated.

He is so much more developed now. He has accurate aim, he knows where the nipple is and precisely how to get it. Those early days of nursing, I believe a baby is exerting its will to be alive. I say this with no judgment for anyone who does not nurse, but rather an acknowledgement of how our early experiences shape our personalities. When nursing, an infant has to work to find the nipple, and work to receive nourishment. I think, sometimes, infants who never once have this experience, have a different relationship, throughout life, to how to get what they need in the world.

In the beginning, he nursed constantly, sometimes out of hunger, and other times, to feel connected to the source of life. He is, after all, still figuring out that he is a separate entity from me, so while he is learning this, I fully support his being connected as much as he needs to. I am seeing him become more autonomous, as he has spaced out his time between feedings, and can even entertain himself in his baby playgym, talking to the little animals, looking off into the distance and smiling at the unseen beings, and figuring out his body. When he nurses now, he often looks up and smiles at me, and does not get quite as frantic, because he is starting to know that he is completely taken care of in the world.

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