As far as my baby is concerned, he and I are still one being. No one else in the world can provide him with the feelings of safety and comfort than I can. Every time I look at his belly button, I see the place that connected us, and feel the aliveness and vibrancy of that place. I feel uneasy in myself when he and I are too far away from each other, as though the cord still exists and it becomes too stretched.

Every day, I tell him, “Baby, you are going to have an amazing life.” And he looks at me, with such big, trusting eyes. His gaze is becoming more focused. He clearly turns in response to voices, particularly mine.

I noticed the other day, when I was eating, he started smacking his lips like he was mimicking what I was doing. When I realized this, I started repetitively sticking my tongue out at him. He again copied me, and it became a game, to which he responded with big smiles. These were some of the first smiles I witnessed in his wakefulness.

Though he essentially recognizes us as one being, I believe mimicking is the very beginning of individuation. If he can recognize that I am doing something that he can copy, it means, that some thread of him recognizes our separateness. It is endearing, and there is a wistfulness, as we become our own beings, to be that connected. I trust the process to unfold in perfect time for both of us.

Comments are closed.